Time, post-modernism, humanity vs. everything else

So, haven't journaled a whole heck of a lot recently.
I've just been pondering the linear and non-linear qualities of time.
One bit especially has been nagging me since this evening when I saw a theatrical production at my university...

I was talking to my friend, and we were discussing four year-olds.
Well, he asked me, "Are you a four year-old, Hannah?"
And that got me thinking, "You know, actually I am still four years old. At least part of me is. I mean, it's in my history, therefore it happened, therefore it is still part of my being, correct? So, in fact, I am still four years old."
Time isn't linear. I keep trying to figure out ways to illustrate this theory. To me, time is a spiral or a coil. It doesn't go in a straight line, it overlaps and builds on itself. Neither does the beginning of a person's time disappear, it still exists, but no longer exists physically, therefore it doesn't logically exist for other people, but for one person it does.
If that makes any sense...
Each human being has their own history, their own time structure. Time is relative, yes, but I believe it is even relative down to the very core of an individual. Yes, we have 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 23.25 (to be technically correct) hours in the day, etc. but those are only unifying strictures, very complex and clever strictures by which humans decide to pace their lives. DECIDE is the major key here.
There is always the argument of what separates us from the other birds and beasts of the world.
First of all, physically, nothing really separates us. Two legs doesn't make us superior, it only makes us more superior in our own environment. Try having a swimming competition with a fish... humans aren't going to win. But, they'll win a walking competition any day.
Trying to tout physical characteristics as superior to other animals is ridiculous.
Some say it's the brain.
I'm sorry, but a species that does some of the dumb things we've done hardly has bragging rights.
Third, humans apparently possess a "soul" or a conscience that other animals don't have. What defines a soul? And besides, there are plenty of humans that believe not all humans have souls. And conscience? A conscience we choose to ignore?
This brings me to my conclusion: what defines us from other animals: if humans must seek a way to define themselves, which in itself is a rather vain and self-conscious act... probably the most self-conscious act any species could committ, then the action of self-definition, or at least the search for a self-definition is probably THE defining characteristic of the human race. Not to mention self-consciousness. Of course, there are people in the world who do not attempt to identify or define themselves, and there are plenty of people in the world who are not self-conscious in the least. However, these people have not met "society" or, although I hate the term, the "modern world". Which also brings into light a problem about most theorist and philosophers is they take their world they live in (I live in modern America, for example), and they assume that their view of the "world" is correct. But what world is that? Is it reality for other people? NO! Everyone should be their own philosopher, because everyone's world is different. My world is not the same as someone from France, or someone from Australia. There will be similarities, but I cannot assume that my view of the world is correct based on my VERY limited view of the "world".
People are always concerned about the rest of the "world". The rest of what world? What rest of the world ACTUALLY comes into contact with us? I ponder this... Yes, we are all connected, but the irrational fear and paranoia people experience about the "real world" is ridiculous. There is no such thing as the "real world". We are all in the "real world", it's not some separate intentity that is mysterious and dangerous. If anything, the "real world" is simply knowledge and novelty. It's things that one has never been exposed to... terrible sentence, please ignore the grammar... but that doesn't make it any more REAL than the current life and world of the individual, it only makes it different.
Anyway...
This is all very post-modernism theoretical speak, but the funny thing about postmodernism is the fact that although it is, to me, anyway, a theory meant to explain and define the "post-modern" age in which we live (whatever that means...), it fails to do so by being completely open to interpretation and definition.
Which brings me back to the human race: the attempt to identify and define ourselves is the most defining characteristic of the human race, or at least the human race I've run into,
and
an individual's perception of time and space is completely singular, but strongly influenced by societal strictures and customs.
Time is a custom, not a given.
And it all comes down to the one. We should all be our own philosphers.
Speaking of time, sleeping time is upon me, and I wonder... what would it be like to live in a world with no clocks?

Mormon Missionaries.

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting at my apartment having some lunch. I heard some talking going on next door. I heard one girl and two men speaking for about five minutes. The girl's tones were apologetic and supplicating. The men's tones were persuasive and studied. "Hm," I thought to myself, "must be some missionaries". Although, I was unsure if they were Jehovah's Witness, Mormon, or Evangalists. Soon, there was a sound of a dismissal, and I heard my neighbor's door close. About 30 seconds later, there was a knock on my door.

A series of thoughts about not answering the door raced across my mind. Then I got a cruel thought.

Fishing.



I opened my door and saw two blonde, blue-eyed boys standing on my door step. The taller one was smiling at me, the other one was looking at his shoes.

"Hey, guys," I said. I waited for them to speak.

"Hi, how are you?" the taller one asked.

"I'm great. How are you?"

"We're good, thanks," the taller one replied, the other one forced a smile.They were dressed in the traditional garb of Mormon missionaries: white shirt, slacks, tie, nice shoes, a sad sagging back pack, holding their book of Mormon and pamphlets.

They asked me about what I was studying, what year I was, we got on the topic of musical instruments and talked about that for a minute or two. They had had a little reprieve, I guess, so now it was time for business.

"I'm guessing you know who we are?" the taller one asked.

"Yeah, you're LDS missionaries."

"Has anyone ever told you about what we do?"

"Yes."

"Have you ever known any Mormons?"

"Yes, I know several Mormons. I have some good friends that are Mormon. I dated a Mormon once..."

"Oh, really?" They raised their eyebrows.

"Yeah, although it didn't work out, obviously," I said.

"Huh." They feigned surprised.

"I even visted the LDS center on campus a couple of years ago. Because I was dating a Mormon, I wanted to figure out what exactly it was all about, so I went.""How did you like it?"

"Well, the people were really nice, but I couldn't agree with a lot of things they said. I'm pretty stubborn in my own beliefs and I couldn't go along with some of what they said. I mean, I agree with a lot of principles the Mormon's have. But I tend to take bits of religions that make sense to me and leave the rest of it."

"Well, is there anything else you want to know about what we believe?" The taller one asked, facing the other one as if trying to engage him with what was going on. The other one just barely held back a tired sigh.

"Yes."

"Alright, then."

"I never asked my friends because I thought it was inappropriate to put them on the spot and also because I wouldn't want to make them feel uncomfortable, but, what do you believe happens to non-Mormons when they die? Do you believe they go to hell, or heaven, or just float around in the after life?"

"Well, we believe that when everyone dies, they are judged at the gates of heaven and are given one last chance to repent and be in the faith, or not. If they don't choose to accept the Mormon faith, then they..." the taller one trailed off a bit,

"Go to the other place," finished the other one.

The taller one threw a look at the other one, who was a little more awake now.

"Okay, so it's like you believe that at the end of the world, we all get judged and go to heaven and make our choice."

"Yes."

"But what about the atheists? And all the people in China and Africa and Europe that never heard about Mormonism, do you think they will be judged in the same way as the Mormons are?"

"Well, I think there are lots of good people out there that aren't Mormon," the taller one replied sincerely.

"Yeah, there are great people in the world that just, unfortunately don't belong to the Mormon faith," the other one said insincerely.

The taller one looked unsteady.

The other one continued, "That's why we do the missionary work.""So, you think that even if they are good people, if they don't accept your religion at the gates of heaven, they won't get in? So they are judged by their belief instead of their actions?"

"Well..." they looked uncomfortable, "What do you believe?"

"I'm sorry I'm being so hard on you," I apologized, "I just want to know so I can definitely say whether I agree or disagree with Mormonism or not. I don't agree with what you've said. I don't know if there's an afterlife or not. Frankly, I don't care, but I'm pretty sure if we are judged, we'll be judged for who we are, not what religion we are. Death doesn't distinguish between religions, and I don't think God, or whoever runs heaven or the afterlife, or what-have-you, does either."

"Okay." They said.

"Also, I had another question," I continued, "Why do men and women have separate places and time during the church hours?"

The taller one looked at me and hesitated.

"I mean, why do you have to separated the two sexes? Why do they have to be taught separately? What do you learn, as a man, that the women do not learn and vice versa?"

They proceeded carefully. I could sense they were trying to be tactful about answering me. I asked a question, and like my friend Alex always says, "the way people answer sometimes tells you more about the person than what they actually say." I waited for their answer.

"Well, " the taller one began, "the men... we're... well, since I'm a man I could have the priest hood."

"Okay..."

"And, well, the men don't know what the women learn."

"I do," said the other one.

"What?" asked his comrade, "how?"

"My mom talks about stuff that they learn." He replied.

"Really." The taller one sounded slightly taken aback.

"Yeah, she tells us everything," the other Mormon said, looking at me intently.

"Well, I don't know what they talk about..." said the taller one a little loftily, "what do they talk about?"

"She says they learn about how to do girl stuff like how to be a good mother and wife and things like that, " replied to his mate, "My mom tells everyone in the family what to do." He said to me, as an afterthought.
This reminded the taller one, so he said, "OH, yeah, my mom is like that, too. She rules the house with an iron fist."

They shared a laugh about this.

"But, I think," continued the tall one, "That girls are better at some things than men... like, I think girls are more... charitible," he finished rather lamely. He looked to his comrade for help.

"Yeah... girls are sooo awesome." The other one said.

I almost laughed.

The taller one looked worried and a little annoyed. I could hear him thinking, "Okay, you're not helping."

I didn't say anything. I just looked at them. I was thinking to myself, "Okay, so if girls are more charitible, and to me, churches are supposed to help others, wouldn't it make sense to have the women running the church?"

I think they could tell I wasn't buying it, so I eased them of the suspense.

"Well, I have to disagree. I respect your beliefs, but I couldn't possibly be part of a religion that wouldn't allow me or my daughters to have any real say in what was going on. To be a member of a church or religion and put time into an institution that didn't recognize you as an equal would be pointless."

They shrugged.

"I do agree with Mormonism in the fact that they focus so much on the teachings of Jesus. I'm not part of any church or religion in particular, but I think Jesus is the man."

"Yeah, Jesus is awesome." they said, almost in unison.

"I also think the Mormon's sense of community is good, and the fact that they are such a tightly knit bunch, I think it's a good strength. But, I notice that they exclude a lot of people as well."

"So, can we ask you a question?" the taller one asked.

"Of course," I replied.

"What comes to mind when you think of Mormon missionaries?"

"Blonde." I said.

"What?"

"Blonde. I think of blond hair and blue eyes."

"What, really? Huh. You know, you're right. I never thought about how many people were blonde. But... yeah. Huh. I never noticed that."

"I really noticed it because, I'm from South Carolina, and white people are in the minority there, and blonde people even more so. Most people are dark haird and dark eyed. I came to Idaho and was amazed: I had never seen so many blonde haired, blue eyed people in all my life!"

They laughed.

The taller one said, "Yeah, I'm from Chicago... it's a little weird being out here in Idaho where everyone is white. I agree."

"Where are you from?" I asked the other one.

"Utah. Although we have a large immigrant Polynesian population for some weird reason. And Mexicans." He made a sucking sound through his teeth, like the sound someone makes when they pull off a band-aid.
The taller one angrily glanced at the other one, looked quickly back at me and smiled apologetically. He changed the subject quickly,"Well, most people think we're rude or pushy. You don't think that?"

"No, I don't think so. I mean, I've never met a rude Mormon missionary, and you're doing what you think is right, and there's nothing wrong with that. I don't like it when people are really rude to missionaries. Because, you have to do it. It's part of your faith. Who am I to judge you for it?"

They smiled.

"Some people are really rude." The other one said.

"Yeah." agreed the taller one.

They were silent for a second.

"Do you mind if I give you something?" the taller one asked.

"I don't mind... what is it?"

"It's a card with our 13 pillars of faith."

He dug around in his deflated back pack, "I just have to find it. I'm using it for a book mark."

The other one looked at his fellow Mormon, looked at me, and looked irritated.

"Ah, here it is." The taller one handed me a card with a picture of Jesus surrounded by kids.

I glanced at the back of the card with the writing.

"You know why I think Jesus liked little kids so much?" I remarked

"Why?"

"Because children don't judge other people. They have no preconceptions or prejudices. They have to be taught all of that by other people."

"Well..." said the taller one.

"Yeah, Jesus loved children because they are gullible and will do whatever you tell them to without thinking, " drawled the other one.

"Um," I hesistated, "that's not what I meant... I think Jesus would want us to use our brains"

"Yeah," the taller one quickly responded trying to rescue the remark, "I think he wants us to think for ourselves."

The other one shrugged.

"Just look over those if you like," the tall one said.

"Yep."

"Well, it looks like the Jehova's Witnesses have been here," said the taller one with a little grit in his voice.

"Jehova's Witnesses," said the other one, shaking his head.

"How can you tell?" I asked.

"They leave 'X's and 'O's on your door frame. And gold tacks. 'X's mean the person rejected the word, O's mean the person wasn't at home, gold tacks mean they had a conversion."

"Oh. What's on my door frame?" I asked, looking for the mark.

"There's an 'O' on your door frame," they replied, "anyway, we should be going."

"Yeah, I need to be going, too. I have to eat lunch and do some stuff. Sorry to give you an earful. I don't get to talk about what I believe that often."

"Yeah, well maybe we'll come back some time. You can catch us up with what's going on."

"You don't watch TV?"

They shook their heads.

"No internet either?"

"Nope."

"Whoa. Well, just to let you know, there was a gas explosion in California, killed about 6 people."

"It would be in California," the other one remarked.

"And Obama's ratings are down."

They both nodded violently, "Not surprised," said the tall one, "The Mormon church doesn't claim or support that man."

"Every president loses ratings in the second year," I replied, "But feel free to come back any time. You're welcome here."

"Maybe we should stick a gold tack on your door frame."

"If you want to," I said, "keep the Jehova's Witnesses away, I guess."

"Well, you have a good afternoon."

"You, too."

I shut the door and laughed to myself, "What an interesting conversation," I thought.

Feminism at it's Worst

I am a woman.
I have had many conversations with women in the past, and as soons as I hear them say, "Men are stupid," I reply with, "Not all men are stupid. Some men are stupid, just like some women are stupid. Simply because we are women does not automatically make us intelligent." To which their retort is almost always, "are you a feminist?"

This is where it gets difficult. Feminism has come to be tautological with man-haters. At least in my experience. Feminism used to be a fair-minded enterprise, but now it has become an exclusive mindset with rules and, the most damaging thing of all, excludes men.
To begin with, feminism was a movement to provide equal opportunity, education, and political power for women. To make life more fair for women who wanted to better their own lives, to give them the freedom to better their own lives as they pleased, and to basically make it a constitutional given that if all men were created equal, then so were women. After all, all men come from a woman's womb, correct?
And techinically, in eutero, all humans begin as a female. It's only after they have had development in the womb their chromosome changes and the little fetus becomes male. I'm no expert at genetics, but these are the basics, people.
So, it makes sense that men and women are equal.

Then came the popular, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", and the sexes have gradually been more accepted as different species rather than different genders. The most popular phrase, when a man makes a mistake is, "Boys are stupid," harking back to kindergarten and the playground romances of young children. Not every woman says this, but we have all probably heard it, or a variation of it. This is what I call the "Us and Them" syndrome. Here we are, "Us", on one side of the street, and there they are, "Them", on the other side of the street. Somehow, this makes each side of the street superior and the other side of the street inferior. It's a flaw in human nature that is difficult to avoid, in fact I have fallen into the mistake myself. The reality of the situation is the road is the same road we must all walk down (cue Bob Dylan music here), some people just never cross the road to the other side to actually understand what's over there.

Exclusive Feminism, or Xtreme Feminism, as I like to call it, does not good for the cause of humanity. It only sets up an already strained and confusing relationship between the sexes. I understand the importance of "girl power", but when does girl power become a practice of sexism and discrimation? And I hate to point fingers in the community, but the U of I Women's Center is, in general, I find, hostile towards male involvement. Perhaps if feminism was a more inclusive philosophy, rather than a defensive, "Uterus Only Club", men could learn more about what women go through, rather than being frightened away by all the anger bombasted at them from the Xtreme Feminists. And, in return, a woman's knowledge of man could be improved as well, because as much as we like to pretend, we women don't know everything. I know I don't, anyway. And being a woman, I think I can guess the rest of us don't either.

The human race can not exist without men and women. Yes, we are different, but neither of us are devoid or deficient of emotions or feelings.
So, when someone asks me if I'm a feminist, I say, "No," because feminism is the same as machoism, in that it severely limits my perception of life. I believe we all have our mistakes, our triumphs, our perfections, and our faults. And none of "us" are superior to "them" in any way.
So, I would like to suggest a new kind of "ism" and call it "humanism". Maybe we can change the negative, "Us and Them" syndrome into a more positive, "We" syndrome.
Yes, the sexes are equal.
If we are not equal in perfections, we are at least equal in faults.