I graduated, so I have no classes, I haven't gotten a job in Boise yet, so...
CRAP.
I just remembered I forgot to call the apartment complex I was going to visit this week and tell them I'm coming next week instead. I should really keep a list of things I NEED to do, and a list of things I WANT to do.
Ugh.
Anyway. So, I don't have a job in the town I'm about to move to. I barely have enough money to make it there, but I had to pick a direction and run with it, as impractical as that may be.
I'm super excited, though. Mainly because it's been about a year since I had a travelling adventure. And I try to have at least one big travel adventure per year. I love travelling. If I could somehow find a job that paid my travel, I would be in heaven. Maybe I should look into writing a travel show like Rick Steves or something. I'll look into it.
Anyway, the possibilities are unforeseeable at this point. Anything could happen. Of course, it's a little daunting that ANYTHING could happen to me. Something less than pleasant could happen. But I've had less-than-pleasant things happen to me in the past and I've turned out alright so far. Although I do have a pretty strange fascination for villains and their grotesque ideas of justice.
But that's for another time.
For now, I don't know what's going to happen, but I know no matter what happens, my parents will be there for me, my friends will still be my friends, and my man will love me. I hope. I'm never entirely sure, but if I were completely sure, I might take them for granted, and that's no good at all.
I try to appreciate and be thankful for everything I have, every day. I realize with all the commodities we have in our country today, we often forget that happiness and well-being isn't always about "having" something. I'm not saying that we shouldn't have health care, or charities, or things like that. But, really, I know people who have more than they could every possibly need or want, and they're still unhappy.
But this isn't new. And I don't think money is the root of all evil. I think, "We have met the enemy, and he is us." to quote Walt Kelly's possum cartoon strip, Pogo.
But not until we acknowledge this can we get out of our own way and enjoy and know what it's like to improve ourselves, learn about other people, and ultimately love them for all their flaws.
I just have to keep reminding myself of this. Because it's so easy to blame other people for our problems. Maybe other people impose difficulties on us, but it's how we handle things, and what we decide to do that we are responsible for. I want to be responsible for my own actions. Not matter where I go. Now matter how uncertain my adventures are, and no matter what happens to me:
I won't surrender to myself.
